I am 65 yrs old. After doing an attitude adjustment on myself "with the help of God" I re-married a year ago in June and because of my attitude adjustment I am happy as a lark. God had to have been in control of me doing an attitude adjustment because no one else could have ever made me believe I needed one. It is so wonderful to relax and let God control. He does a much better job of it than I ever did. When I think back to all the stages I went through I realize how stupid I was in not letting go sooner. I went through years of feeling like everything was always my fault and feeling guilty about it. I went through years of trying to fix things and thinking I could no matter how many times I failed. Then I went through years of knowing I could not fix things but trying anyway just because I didn't want it to be that way. Then I went through years of trying to fix things knowing all the time I would fail but not knowing how to stop and how to let go and completely let God take control. I knew that God would take care of everything but the only way I could stop what I was doing was to get down so low and be too weak to do anything and then he would always take over and work everything out. But no matter how many times that happened I would still try the next time. Then the day the Judge sentenced my son to prison and I cried all the way home I realized how stupid it was to try to fix things knowing I couldn't, and then cry about something that I knew all the time I would fail at. I guess that was the moment I was able to turn it over to him completely. I still get down sometimes when things go wrong or maybe I should say is not the way I want things to be. But now I don't stay down more than a day or two because God reminds me that He is in control and I listen. Sometimes He Calms The Storm and Sometimes He Calms Me. |
